One Fell-Swoop

I keep wishing
it seems it's all I got

A lot of things have been falling out over the last 24 hours. I think I've allowed a lot of pillars to fall and it feels like I'm sitting here with the roof caved in on me.

There's a girl, despite the world hating, that I loved. It's been almost 3 years that she's resided in my head and had weight in my heart. Just to get a message from her that said " i dont feel like we are friends anymore " really ate at me. This was the girl who was on the line always for me and I let her slip through.

It's only been spiraling down. There's a guy who'd I give the title of best friend. The guy has been a hero of mine since I was 7. I'm 17. He was always there for me. I've never been able to defend myself in anything. I'll admit, I'm a short defenseless punk-ass kid, but this guy looked out for me. Every time someone beat me up he made sure they got what they had coming to them. For the few months though, he's been cutting out the middle man. I don't get picked on now by anyone but him. I was hearing less and less from him. I don't even think I know him anymore. So tonight he told me straight up "F*** You, pray I don't see you in person". What do you do with that? I can't even talk out my issues with these people, they just turn off.

Those are the two people I think I'm really going to miss in life. I don't think my life would have been the same without them. There's still many I could throw on top of that. I could turn this into a shopping list, but that's not what it is. It's like these people have tuned out of my life for good...

I'm going to stop there. I have more I can write, but my fingers are freezing at the keys.